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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First kid did unusually well, admitted to HYPS without a hook. A couple of parents ghosted me forever, and a couple more went out of their way to share their views on my child’s social/emotional deficiencies. A couple were genuinely happy for her. You definitely learn who your friends are![/quote]

That’s awful! Wtf is wrong with people?

I am currently on a trip with my child who is auditioning for performing arts scholarships at schools this board would laugh at. In the middle of this, I got a text from a teacher begging her to turn in her assignments so she doesn’t get a D in her class.

So even though she managed to get a couple acceptances, I now think I have to tell my child with ADHD and associated other issues we’re not throwing money down a black hole when she is going to have to fight to just graduate high school at this point. If she can’t take school seriously now, I’m not assuming she’s going to magically figure it out next fall.

I am more envious that other people have kids that don’t struggle so darn much. I was a kid that did well in school without much effort, so this child has been such a challenge as a parent because I truly do not understand her and what makes her tick.

I guess my child will be getting a job and going to community college now. Yes, I am sad and frustrated :([/quote]

PP here — sorry you’re frustrated. Parenting is the hardest job there is.[/quote]

Thank you for this. We were at one of the schools this morning (we were already at our Airbnb last night). I wasn’t going to pull her out of the auditions last minute. I don’t know-so conflicted because I know she has the potential, she just FAAFO way too much. Yes, parenting is so incredibly hard. I try so hard to do the right thing, and things always seem to backfire.[/quote]

NP. I have had similar situations with my kid. And I agree: It is sad. It is frustrating. And it is difficult to look at the kids who seem to preternaturally have it all together, as if they are somehow made of different stuff, and wonder why it is so easy for some, and so, so difficult for others. I have no answers, just a note that what I keep trying to do in these situations is to zoom out and clear my head, and ask, "if this situation, right here, were to become one of those long-term, life-enhancing learning opportunities, what would that look like? If this moment could somehow enhance our relationship, rather than fracturing it, what would *that* look like? What would I, as the parent, need to be doing right now?" I've found that even when I'm still unsure about *what* to do, those questions always nudge me closer to *how* I should approach things, which is to say with a bit more openness and grace than I'd been able to muster.

At any rate, I hope she's proud of herself for the audition. And I hope those little moments of pride can begin to accumulate such that they begin to feel like a compass, pointing her way. I sincerely wish you and your daughter all the best. [/quote]

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