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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the heat attack thing never works bc the person can easily observe reality - tons of people who are carrying an extra 50 pounds are just fine

If you find him unattractive bc you view home as lazy or weak for being overweight you need to accept that and deal with your feelings [/quote]

OP here. He is on three medications for his heart and lipids. He is at very high risk for HA / MI. Per his cardiologist. He had a great deal of plaque and multivessel disease. He found out about this three years ago when he turned 50. I thought this would be a wake up call.  It wasn't. He just gained weight and i forgot to mention, picked up an occasional nicotine habit. Its bad.. I'm upset and angry.  He does exercise a lot though.  [/quote]

well Op I lost 80 lbs and am now a normal BMI

I still have high blood pressure and have to take meds to control it and I have the beginning of heart disease. Once I lost the weight doctors suddenly changed to these things are often genetic and won’t matter how much weight you lose ….

It’s not that your DH shouldn’t lose weight but you should understand more about heart diseases and realize that it’s not all about weight [/quote]

OP, you should read and absorb the above to try to help let go of the resentment. That doesn't mean you don't still advocate your husband getting healthy, but even if he makes all the changes suggested he might still have the same issues. (Probably not the pre-diabetes). My own dad has always been slim and fit. He's not a huge gym type exerciser, but not at all a couch potato. He has high cholesterol and his doctor nagged him and nagged him. He stopped eating red meat, then meat altogether, stopped drinking, took a statin that made him exhausted and experience muscle pain. Literally no change in his cholesterol.

It's very comforting for others to think if they do everything "right" then they won't have any health issues so they judge others harshly. The truth is that you can do everything you can to ensure the best outcomes and it may still not work. It's hard to hold both of those beliefs in your head, but you should try.[/quote]

Same with my father and his family of heart disease.

He’s living his life healthy and active, more fish/less fried stuff, eating less now that he’s 80 and is doing well managing his high cholesterol and hardening arteries and heart muscle. Not overweight. He’ll probably be like my coworkers elderly father- out for a brisk walk or daily jog and keels over from a heart attack.

But family history is no excuse to just let loose eat garbage and get fat.

Most people get this PP. They can hold this all in their head. Just like they know if you’re genetically predisposed for heart disease and pigging out and never active, you’re not living a healthy life. 
[/quote]

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