Reply to In-laws are broke, DH has offered to help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, just chiming in as another person with in-laws whose expensive lifestyle and tastes don’t match their means.

I’m extremely grateful that my husband has been clear with them (and with his siblings) that we won’t be the financial backstop.

(Astonishing amounts of money have flowed through their hands, and they continue to make housing decisions that are wildly irresponsible, while ignoring our advice - which they ask for - about how to get to a better place.)[/quote]

So how does this play out? Would love to know their ages along with their expensive tastes and estimated means. Wondering if we are in for this.[/quote]

Ages: mid 70s
Means: $1Mish in total retirement savings, plus SS and a pension that throws off about $3k/month
Expensive taste: Bought a condo with carrying costs of $5,500/month in their mid 60s, seemingly unaware of the implications of that fixed expense. Want to spend $10k+/year on travel. Could cut housing costs in half pretty easily, but emotionally aren’t willing to do so.

They are obviously not destitute, but the reserve nest egg is already being spent down and they won’t be able to afford assisted living or other situation to support more extensive care. Not sure how it will ultimately play out - family history of dementia plus longevity means it could be tough. Though the flip side is that even with lower housing costs, they’d probably still struggle with late in life care costs. It’s not great. [/quote]

Wow! This would be a hard no for contributing! Their luxuries (larger home than they need or can afford and vacations)  should not be prioritized over you buying your own home. DH needs to sit down with them and/or send them to a financial advisor.

It sounds like with their financial habits they will likely need help in later years potentially for care/medical expenses. In that case I would consider helping, but not for this!

You need to talk with your DH. He had no right to make that unilateral decision and it’s also a very poor financial decision for you nuclear family. [/quote]

I wrote about in-laws w expensive tastes. I’m not the op - my spouse has made clear to me and his parents that we aren’t going to subsidize them. A different poster asked more about the circumstances and how it plays out in real life.

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