Reply to Can anyone please explain the mindset of parents who allow “failure to launch”?

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Reply to "Can anyone please explain the mindset of parents who allow “failure to launch”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is tough love is risky. What if the child doesn't pull themselves up by their bootstraps? What if they end up homeless? Turn to drugs? Get taken advantage of? Forced to live in unsafe conditions/vulnerable to abusive relationships?

Parents are also worried that their failure to launch child lacks grit and resilience due to their lack of something in their home environment or upbringing, so they feel responsible.

A young adult brain isn't fully formed until 25. Some things are hard to pinpoint. What is a phase, verses a full blown psychiatric diagnosis? Mental health conditions don't become fully apparent until mid to late 20s.

Every situation and family is different.

There are no easy answers

A supportive family leads to the best  outcomes in most situations, versus a family who writes a person off

Sometimes the "failure to launch" is the scapegoat, the identified patient, and is carrying everyone else's dysfunction.

Those are my thoughts [/quote]

All true in the above.

I figured out early on that for one of our children “natural consequences” never worked. She’d had ASD like her father, uncle and grandfather have. 
I cannot push her, she needs a long glide path, she tries many things and quits many things. I only want a couple things to stick- like one sport or one friend group or one passion that could become a college major or job or career. We are searching. 
She drives her younger sibling crazy. With the lateness, with the lashing out, with the anxiety and anger. Similar to the father, we walk on eggshells. Will she have a good day or a bad day? [/quote]

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