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[quote=Anonymous]So. Wife here.

Snow days happen because there is an assessment by the district that for the health and safety of the kids, it’s better for them to stay home. Keeps people off bad roads during bad weather which is a net positive for everyone.

Kid with a runny nose is a sick kid. They might be mildly sick, but it’s a dick move to send your mildly sick kid to infect the other kids at the preschool when you don’t have to.

Years ago DH and I had both started new jobs, still in probation. We had to send our 1 y/o to daycare. We’d had a rough couple of years of unemployment and desperately needed the jobs. Like had barely saved our home from foreclosure rough few years. Neither of us had sick time, kid had to go to daycare. It’s still years later one of the worst moments I remember as a parent. We were in compliance with the school sick policy, but it felt awful. I get that sometimes you don’t really have a choice…but this doesn’t feel like that.

I need more information OP, is DH the primary breadwinner? What’s the proportion of income? I ask because if DH is making 4x what you make, then yeah that’s the job that is the priority, if you’re the primary breadwinner then your job is the priority.

In my household we don’t need to consult with the other to decide to keep the kid home, because if either of us feels like that’s what’s best for the kid then that’s the priority. I’ve made that call and DH had to rearrange, DH has made that call and I’ve had to rearrange. Health, safety, comes first. If either parent makes the decision is that the person who will generally stay home? Sure. But that doesn’t always work out. But we trust that the other parent might have been more in tune with things and trust each other’s judgement.

I’m struggling with the narrative of abuse here. OP, it sounds like you wanted to send your children out of the house on a day deemed best to stay home and while I’m not saying you’re a bad mom or that your DH was appropriate in yelling, this seems to be a case of missing missing reasons. Especially since it also sounds like the kids were with him the bulk of the day.

Also, I think it’s REALLY interesting that your DH is willing to go to therapy but only if you don’t try to spin the narrative that he’s the bad guy. [/quote]

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