Reply to DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well

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Reply to "DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh I’d lay in hard to that one (sounds like you are). If you think DS still doesn’t fully get it, I would take him out with just you and DH for a Serious Discussion. Not a punishment, since you’ve already done that and teens can have reactive “I’m right, they’re wrong” reactions to punishments. Go to a coffee shop, order him a hot cocoa, then tell him you and DH wanted some time with him, now that you’ve had some time to reflect, to talk about what went on with Grandpa.

Together, tell him that it’s been weighing on your mind since and you’re trying to understand why he would say something so hurtful and ungrateful. Hear him out. Dont be angry - act sad, and seeking to understand. Then tell him how it made you feel: extremely disappointed in him, embarrassed that your child would so rudely react to ANY gift, and sad for grandpa who has given more than he has any obligation to give. Empathize with him that yes, it’s not that tangible a gift at the moment, but be clear that the proper reaction to any gift is a heartfelt “thank you.” See if you can get him to see from your perspective, and grandpas, how he came across. Talk about the great, kind person you see him as and your worries about the entitled, self-centered person you saw in that comment. Leave awkward silences and time to reflect - let him be uncomfortable. Finish by saying you love him and hope he will think hard about what you shared.

I’d also start looking out for opportunities to call out ungrateful, entitled behavior - not his, but examples you see around you. [/quote]

Talk about overkill… How To Create A Snowflake 101[/quote]

No, not all. Quite the opposite! PP has it right and you are.the one must be raising snowflakes if this earnest conversation seems overkill to you.[/quote]

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