Reply to Husband decided to keep kids home today without talking to me

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[quote=Anonymous]	I’m not sure if you believe your husband to be rational about his dislike of childcare, or if you just expect him to go along with whatever you want because who is he to even discuss what he went through and what he wants for his children and life?  Even if he had no bad experiences, he doesn’t have the option with you to discuss what he’d like.  It doesn’t mean he’ll get it, but being married to someone who tells you to “just live with it” when that person is living and doing exactly as they please can really destroy a marriage.  Also, he’s smart not to go to therapy, it’s not like you will listen, and you may even get the therapist to go along with you. I wouldn’t go to therapy with you either, op, not on this issue.

I’d sit down with your husband and ask him what he wants going forward. Would he prefer you stay home/ My husband is happier with me being home. 
It’s strange though that he wants you to work from home, I wouldn’t, not with children and a husband at home, men simply prioritize things differently. I’d tell him I can work outside the home or I can be a mom, I can’t and won’t do both. 
I do agree with you that getting the kids out of childcare early is stupid. If they are going, they go all day. If they need or want extra mom time then I stay home and give them all the mom time they want. If husband is thinking they need extra mom time, he can support our family. Harsh, but there it is. 
Do your due diligence and make sure he isn’t mentally ill. Fine to want your kids to have a stay at home mom, not fine to refuse them Scouts or other activities because “something might happen” or “the kids don’t need it” or “my mom never let me do it”. 
The slamming doors would be something I’d nip in the bud, and I am worried for you because he wanted the kids home then he took them out for what exactly? Unless h came home with your favorite doughnuts and favorite morning beverage for you then he may be real trouble.

I’d start though by asking him specifically what he wants, and just how far no childcare goes with him. The women I know who talk about no childcare ever are well, a bit nutty. The ones who say “I can be a mom better then  daycare can and yes my kids do other activities are generally more normal.  I’m not sure if your husband is ill, or is so frustrated at not being heard.. again, that he’s acting ill.  There is a difference. You can also just divorce him too. I worry who he’d find as a stepmom, but that isn’t my problem. It might e for you though so be ready. There are a lot of women who want to stay home and do nothing. [/quote]

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