Reply to work from home is messing up my marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another woman NP here. I work from home (attorney) full time, so does DH (not an attorney but fairly senior management).

Unless we have preplanned a fun outing (a Costco trip or lunch, and usually never more than once a month), we absolutely never talk to each other during the day. Our head space is in work, not with our family. If dh had some kind of edict that I needed to have lunch for fifteen minutes every day with him, I think I would kill him. First, that’s just not how a job works - when and how I eat changes every day, based on my schedule and is often grabbing a yogurt and fruit while I’m on a zoom call. Second, if I did peel off for a few minutes, I can pull my head out of work that easily. And it’s very stressful if you’re asked to engage in someone else’s superficial discussions about how the kids poop was bit today, or about a Netflix show, when you’re mid thought about a major work project. End of day is different - because you’re done for the day. But if you know you’re back on in 15 minutes, it’s very difficult to shut off work brain.

Also, 50-60 hours just isn’t some kind of crazy work week, op. First, I actually think you’re exaggerating the hours, because first it was fifty hours and everyone told you that’s what every run of the mill job is, and then suddenly you’re saying sixty. And then oh he’s also working three more hours than that every night and all weekend as well. I think you’re full of crap because you didn’t like the answer you got. But honestly, it’s so offensive that you, with a ten hour a week fake job that contributes nothing to the household finances is lecturing her husband on what a “normal job” schedule should look like. How would you know what a normal job looks like? You don’t have a real job with real responsibilities.

Also, even if your dh does go back on line in the evenings or weekends to think through this big idea, how dare you lecture him on this not being an appropriate hobby or use of down time? It sounds like he really likes his field of study. Sounds like he is nerding out doing this. What’s wrong with that? Why is that inherently less acceptable during his down time than reading a book or watching Netflix?

But finally yes, he’s also spending this much time in his office working because he strongly dislikes you and is incredibly irritated with you. From your posts, I think that’s fair. This is a you problem, not a him problem.

Ps get the toddler, er 4 year old, out of his dad’s way during the work day!!! What the hell is wrong with you?!?[/quote]

+100[/quote]

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