Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think what you are seeing--both IRL and this thread--is people calling bull on your "financial" reasons. To be clear... if you are ambivalent about having kids, and see yourself being 100% okay without, then that's fine, and maybe you should reframe your responses to reflect that. You keep saying "you know" but if you do, then you just saying you "get it" might be an issue is weak sauce. [/quote]

The people irl who ask about my fertility don't know how much we earn and I don't tell them either. The conversation jumps straight from my age/marriage to comments about my fertility and I just tell them that we won't have kids at the moment and ask them to change the subject. I want kids, but I only want them if we're economically comfortable. I feel comfortable right now, but I know I won't be if we're living on less than a 60K a year, which is what will happen if one of us has to quit their job or pay daycare. Plenty of people do it. I don't want to be one of them because we already went through it without have children. I'm not quite sure where's the bullshit. If that makes me ambivalent, then yes, I'm ambivalent. That still doesn't explain why people feel so comfortable giving me advice or questioning my choices. I don't think anybody would love it if childless people started questioning your reasons for having kids or making any decision rthat they disagree with.[/quote]

You want kids and you're married and 36 and magically waiting for an income increase? [b]This is why people are giving you this advice 100%[/b]

Also, I am hoping you mean 60k after taxes or live in a cheaper area than DC because that literally makes no sense if you both work.[/quote]

I literally said that the people giving me advice in real life don't know how much money we make, and that less than 60K is how much we would make if one of us has to quit their job. Do you even read?[/quote]

Umm yes I am totally shocked that between the two of you in your mid 30s in DC that neither of you make more than $60k. [/quote]

We don't live in DC and as a previous poster mentioned the median salary for someone in their 30s is less than that. DCUM is far from being representative of the average person.[/quote]

If you’re making this low of a salary all the more reason to have kids now since you say you want them and don’t have 23k per IVF cycle or tell people you don’t want kids or don’t start a thread asking why people tell you about infertility when you’re married and 36 and claim to not be financially secure enough to have them.[/quote]

That's not a low salary. It's close to the median, but doing your own research doesn't seem to be your strong point. Ironically, finances and childcare do not seem your strong points either as you're absolutely oblivious to housing prices and childcare prices, which can put a person living on an average salary in a very though situation. I didn't start a thread asking for fertility advice. I started a thread asking why people are so effing nosy.[/quote]

Good lord it’s a low salary if you need to spend 23k on IVF. Context clues [/quote]

I already said in the first page that IVF was off limits due to our income, but people keep bringing it over and over again for some reason.[/quote]

It’s being brought up because you are 36 and claim to want children. This is why you need to deal with this advice you are getting or say you’re not comfortable discussing children if people ask. You seem to think that people will not go there, when they do[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics