Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP simply asked why people keep giving her fertility advice when they don't know what's going on in her life, and the first thing you guys do is to give her fertility advice.

I've no idea what OP means by "financial reasons", but if she really wants kids chances are that she did her math a long time ago. I had my child later in life because of financial reasons as well. My mom was having medical issues so we spent a huge chunk of our income on medical treatment. The little we had left went to food, rent and bills. We were living in a small apartment and were not making anywhere 6 figures. It wasn't until my mother passed away that we managed to have enough money to have a child. It was difficult and I had several miscarriages, but the other option was having a child anyways and either getting on welfare or cutting my mother's treatment. I met a number of smug people along the way giving us fertility and financial advice when they had no idea what was going on.

To answer your question OP, people give you advice because they think that having children is some sort of obligation, and not having them is only acceptable if you don't want children at all. Wanting them, but having other priorities is not an option to them. If the unsolicited advice persists, just remind them that your reproductive affairs are none of their business.[/quote]

People are giving her fertility advice because [b]when they ask about kids [/b]she’s inconsistent and probably sounds naive about fertility.

I don’t know why you would tell people you want kids at all. If they ask, just say you don’t want kids. Who cares if you eventually have one?[/quote]

They shouldn't be asking. 
How would you feel if someone randomly asked you how your marriage is going? Or if your children are in good health? [/quote]

What?? I wouldn’t care at all if someone asked if my children were healthy. How weird. And if someone asked how my husband and I were doing, I’d say “great!” And move on. [/quote]

No, I'm not talking about "How are Larlo and the kids?" I'm talking about questions like How's your marriage doing? You guys still f--ing? How often? Is Little Larla on the spectrum? [/quote]

Oh please. This is so dramatic. Family, friends, even acquaintances asking you if you want kids isn’t like any of those things. Some of you are so damn sensitive. Just say no and move the conversation along. [/quote]

The fact that you you think it's okay to ask people about their reproductive plans but not anything else personal says a lot about the way society views women without children. [/quote]

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