Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s small talk, honestly. People like to give advice. You shouldn’t take it so personal. We’ve been infertile for years now and people’s advice just rolls off my back like a duck at this point.

[b]If I could give you advice, I’d tell you now is the time to think about your fertility rather than later, too. But I promise, I’m not obsessed with you.[/b][/quote]

Thanks of exemplifying the kind of comments I have to deal with. I already mentioned that I'm aware how fertility might be an issue and that I might not be able to conceive at all, but you just ignored that. You might not be obsessed with me, but it's obvious that many people give me advice as if I wasn't aware of what going on in my life.[/quote]
PP. It doesn’t seem like you’re aware at all, hence your obstinacy in the face of valid advice.

People, even my closest friends, give me advice I don’t want to hear all the time: I won’t do IVF because it goes against my religious beliefs. It’s okay, they’re giving me practical advice and I am simply choosing not to take it. If you’re so secure in your decision, it’s as easy as literally not taking their advice and it wouldn’t really shake you the way it’s doing right now.

You can’t let people being what they perceive to be polite and helpful as adversarial and negative. Well you can, but it’s only going to make you miserable and irritated. [/quote]

Not OP, but why is it so hard to imagine a woman who is genuinely ok with the idea that that she might never conceive? People take all kinds of risks all the time and no one questions their choices. This kind of denial or the adviser's side seem to almost exclusively occur with advice related to marriage and children. It's almost like the people giving the advice are projecting their own desires and can't accept when someone doesn't share those desires to the same extent.

For the record, I'm a mom of three kids I always knew I wanted, and like OP, I constantly got unsolicited advice on children when I already had a plan which worked as intended. I found it irritating because my womb in none of your f**king business. I'm not really sure why this is so hard to understand for some people.[/quote]
My point has always been stop taking people giving you advice so personal!!! Everything is not about you or judging your choices, people just do it because that’s what everybody does. They’re doing it in this thread, because that’s literally what people do. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. Nobody is forcing you to take anyone’s advice or even participate in the conversation! [/quote]

Eeeeeh, nope. Most people don't give this kind of unsolicited advice. Most people understand that a persons reproductive affairs are none of their business. I' m childless and I've never had a person giving me a fertility lecture. [/quote]

You are probably not running around at the age of 36 telling people you are delaying childbearing due to finances. The OP is either a troll or clueless, but she is inadvertently soliciting this advice making these foolish statements [/quote]

She's saying these things because people are asking![/quote]

She should say I don’t feel comfortable discussing or we are not planning on having children. End of convo.[/quote]

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