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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So don't.  Just do a small simple wedding.[/quote]

Yup If you have the money and the kids want a big event and you enjoy spending $100K+ on their wedding, then go for it

Otherwise, determine how much YOU can afford and are willing to spend.  Tell the couple and let them choose.

We will happily splurge for a huge wedding for our kids, if they want.  We can afford it.  However, it's their wedding and they get to pick.  Yes we want some of our friends to come, but majority are people our kids have grown up with.  And by friends, it would likely only be 10-12 couples---not too much to ask if we are paying.  But then again if my kids want a small intimate wedding with only 50 people or less, then we will respect that and not invite friends (and instead offer to throw a big party later if they would like with our friends and extended family).

[/quote]

NP- ours wasn't a money thing. We only wanted our close friends and our big family. We didn't allow parent friends. We had 100 people, so your 12 couples would have been 1/4 the wedding. Despite dating for 5 years, I'd never met my inlaws' best friends and wouldn't have had them at the wedding for that reason. [/quote]

As I stated, if our kids wanted a smaller wedding we would respect that.  The 20-24 people would be if they wanted a large wedding (we are used to 400+ at weddings).   In that case, if we are paying I don’t feel bad asking to invite our 20-24 close friends—people our kids have grown up with, they are good friends with their kids, are social media friends with most of these adults, etc.
Mostly people our kids would want there anyhow if they have a large wedding.

But yes if they want a smaller more intimate wedding then the friends are not invited [/quote]

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