Reply to How worried to be about birth defects with advanced maternal age?

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Reply to "How worried to be about birth defects with advanced maternal age?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d be more concerned about your husband being a “no” than birth defects. If he doesn’t want a third, then there should be no third. [/quote]

And what about my dream, my entire life, to have three children? Just curious why people like you always insist that his wishes should win out over mine.

FWIW he is also wishy washy at best but basically just thinks it sounds hard. Meanwhile, I feel like three children is my destiny, a feeling I've had my entire life. [/quote]

My husband and I were in a similar spot and we had a third and we are super happy -- actually I was a very similar age to you for all my babies.  I do think being prepared for the unexpected is something you have to (however difficult it is) be ready to do, but I'm kind of with you here.  Of course a strong NO wins every time.  But when the person with the stronger feeling is a yes, I think the no vote owes it to the marriage to give it real consideration -- just like you would with any other strong inclination or venture.  Actually both sides of yes and no should do this.  IMHO this is what it is to be in a partnership.

It's kind of silly to argue that this should all have been decided pre-marriage, because no one really knows how they are going to feel about children until they've had one.  Or two.  It is very much a one at a time deal.
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