Reply to Married 14 years- Just Learned of Cheating in Year 5

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A point that nobody has mentioned yet is that the friend (and probably whole friend group) knew and accepted that this behavior was normal and okay. With that kind of group mindset, it is likely that DH and all of his friends think that cheating on your wife is no big deal. That would make me think DH has done this a lot. Agree with PP that if DH has the balls to take a mistress on an international trip and then got away with it, no reason to not keep doing such things.[/quote]

NP. Thank you, PP. I was reading this thread and was appalled that no one yet had mentioned this exact point. The DH likely runs with a crowd of friends that shrugs off each others' cheating, or possibly even condones or enables it. People's friends really do reflect, and affect, their priorities and values. If the OP is thinking of staying with DH they need plenty of intensive couples' and individual therapy, and he needs to drop friends who are his enablers or encouragers. Maybe this one friend isn't like that but the guy seems to have known DH had been to Mexico which wife didn't....DCUM will lose its little mind at that idea but so what? OP cannot trust that he chooses friends wisely, just as she cannot trust this was the one and only affair. [/quote]

Or, because it's been 9 years,  husband could have also told friend he was in Tulum with OP which is why he thought nothing of mentioning it and DH got nervous because he was caught in a lie with both.[/quote]

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