Reply to Our daughter “married well.” Nobody is happy about it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
1. You make great points, OP.

2. But people find identity and fulfillment in their career. Your daughter and son-in-law probably have professional ambitions and aspirations and they're working towards that, putting sweat equity to move up the ladder. Respect that choice.

3. I suppose they have reasons to live where they do. Maybe they like the nature there, or appreciate being far away from everything. Or maybe it's easier for work.

4. Kids raised by strangers. Yes, that happens 99% of the time. Daycare, school, college. Kids are nearly all raised by strangers, but education still begins at home.

5. No life situation automatically guarantees happiness. They're probably at a stressful stage in their life, with work and kids. It's probably going to come to fruition later.

6. You're far apart from each other, like many upper-class families who prioritize wealth-building and making the most out of every opportunity. Maybe you can visit more often, if they allow it!

[/quote]

I suspect this is all easy to rationalize until elderly parents get sick or abruptly die and you realize that was it. And/or God forbid one of the careerists gets sick from cancer and nobody is there to help. Or a divorce puts things into perspective. Life is short and precious. Value your family over another rung up the ladder or another passport stamp.[/quote]

OP, do you have any interest in engaging to learn other perspectives?  Or are you just here to insist that you are right, that your daughter and SIL are wrong, that everyone should structure their lives as you see it?

As a senior professional "careerist," I was able to take ample time away from the office when my mother got sick, knowing that work would be there when I was ready to return.  If I divorced, my pay would keep my children and me safe and stable.  (It's much rockier for SAHMs post-divorce.)

Life is indeed short and precious, I agree. [/quote]

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