Reply to DW doesn’t understand how a sexless marriage effects me

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Reply to "DW doesn’t understand how a sexless marriage effects me"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you been to therapy to find out why you put so much into this that it’s causing anxiety and depression [/quote]

Is that a real question? You think it’s a mystery why someone is depressed to be rejected sexually by the one person who they have agreed to have sex with. (I’m a woman by the way).[/quote]

Yes. Do you think every sexless person/man is depressed. Is every soldier who is deployed depressed? Spouses of ill people.

There are times in life where people are sexless. It doesn’t cause depression.[/quote]

The soldier knows why he isn't having sex, and it's not because someone doesn't love him anymore. Same with the spouse of an ill person. You know that it's not a reflection of their attraction to you, your worth as a person, their selfishness, or their indifference. OP has no such assurances. [/quote]

There is so much to upack with you I don't know where to start... but I'll start here.

So you agree, it's all in his head. If he was in a different situation then he would be fine. So it's not really the lack of sex making him depressed. A therapist can help him unpack why he is really depresses.

Perhaps he's depressed because he (like you ) think sex = love and he feels unloved, even though that is not the case. Again, therapy can help with that.

[/quote]

Oh come on.  There was a woman who posted yesterday saying that she felt unloved because her husband wouldn’t get on board with a *kitchen renovation,* and I (and many other posters) completely empathized with her feelings.

If people can feel unloved when their spouse rejects their ideas on home remodeling, then how much worse is it when their spouse rejects sex?  [/quote]

She needs therapy if $ = live.

Same with every crazy person who agreed with her,[/quote]

What do you mean by $ = live?

Both of these people want to feel loved and understood by their spouse.  
[/quote]

Love*

Both are using the wrong thing to gauge love, sex or $

If you use these 2 things to gauge love, get help [/quote]

Well, OP literally said that he is upset that he isnt understood, so it isn’t only sex.

If love isn’t understanding another person, providing physical affection, or spending your time/money on someone, then what is it?

How do you show people you love them, pp?

[/quote]

Nope.

Here is the deal if you don’t understand that life is not sex and money you need deep intense therapy, not a 1 sentence explanation on a website.[/quote]

I don’t think you know what it means to love.

People need to feel understood and/or physically touched in order to feel loved.   
If you cannot understand or empathize with someone and you cannot provide any kind of loving touch, then you cannot love.

[/quote]

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