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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the thing about this that makes me mad is when college AOs say, "We have people call our school to complain than X kid got in when Y kid did not.  But the thing is, they don't know why they were admitted, they didn't see their application or read their essay. We know what we're doing. We dont make mistakes." (The Dartmouth dean says this a lot).

I'd never call a school to rat a kid out, but .. no,  Dartmouth, you don't know a kid better than his/her classmates do. Some of these kids have known each other for 12 years .. and you spent 12 minutes reading their app. There are certainly things on the application that their classmates don't know, of course. But they also know that little Larla was not the lead author on that journal, did not start a NFP, didn't play varsity tennis,  and did not organize the clothing drive that was the essay topic. There was no clothing drive.

THat's the part that bugs me.[/quote]

💯

Some of these admissions people are awful at sussing out character.  They want leaders leaders leaders, we’ll guess what? Many “leaders” have sharp elbows and competitively race everyone to the top, pushing people to the side as they go. They’re not exactly the “kind” sort of students Dartmouth claims they want.

My kid’s longtime classmate is a leader, she lies and cheats at every turn. Dartmouth would not know. [/quote]

Begin teaching your child the lesson that life is not fair now. I see this reality hitting UMC children hardest at this juncture because their parents have not laid the appropriate groundwork early on in their lives. I remember my parents messaging to me from very early in ES that sometimes cheaters win, that [b]sometimes the people who are better/faster/smoother talkers win, and that sometimes you will lose even when you “won” on merit. I was not taught that I deserved anything, [/b]because while I was most special to my parents, every other child was as special to theirs and I had no idea what struggles or advantages were going on with others behind closed doors.  
[/quote]

I have made this abundantly clear to my kids. Life is not fair. There is no easy way to win everything. 
Do what you have to if you want something. 
Within reason.[/quote]

+1
I really didn’t know cheating was so rampant tho. My DD was struggling in an AP and took a lot of quiz retakes. I asked her if a lot of people retook them and she said hardly anyone -  they all have A’s. I thought “geez how could she be struggling in such an easy class?”  Then she told me she was in a class group chat at the beginning of the year. Right before the first test someone posted the answers to the prior years test - she got out of that group chat immediately. She said they had all the answers to all the tests and she wanted no part of that. She struggled through with help from her teacher, who actually ended up writing me to tell me how impressed he was with how hard she worked for her grade (she ended up with a B which I was very proud of). He wrote her a college rec letter as well. I suspect he knew everyone else was cheating on some level. 
It was quite a learning experience for her and me, too. [/quote]

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