Reply to How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, my husbnad *is* emotionally supportive. Here are a few examples of that:

1. He doesn't tell me to stop feeling the way I'm feeling when I'm angry, sad, etc.

2. If I am having a hard time, like if I'm really sick or had a failure, he genuinely feels bad for me.

3.When I share a problem with him (one that he can tell is impacting me emotionally), he will usually ask if I want a solution before offering one. If he starts going into "problem-solving mode" when that's not what I want, I tell him "I don't need advice right now, I just need to get this off my chest," he just says "okay" and gets into listening mode.

4. He asks me how I'm doing and genuinely wants to know the answer.

5. If he knows I'm having a hard time he will do little things for me, like getting me some cookies from the grocery store.

Basically I know he genuinely cares about my wellbeing and doesn't think I'm a hysterical woman for having my share of natural negative emotions. We have done marriage counseling so he wasn't born handling others' negative emotions well, but he has always valued emotional closeness with people. [/quote]

Focus on her #3 there. You sound like you go into problem solving (helped her change careers) immediately which is not always what a woman may be seeking when something freshly happened. You need to ask her what is emotional support to her. Tell her that it wasn’t necessarily communicated to you clearly at first but that you are trying to make it right and ask for a second chance. Tell her that when she tells you things that have happened that your immmediate reaction is to focus on problem solving not necessarily managing emotions [/quote]

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