Reply to How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well there are a few possibilities:

1. She is too immature to realize and accept that a DH is not necessarily a trained therapist who knows the perfect thing to say at all times

2. She wants to be with someone else and using you as a scapegoat

3. You are actually an a-hole and don’t realize it. Also, wtf is “helping” around the house[/quote]

In my experience, it's almost always #3.

Men are usually a-holes. Or perhaps the term is generally more self centered.

Just observe platonic relationships between women. It's not that hard. When a woman makes a friend, she mirrors a lot of the nice things her friend does for her. If I am sick and my friend makes me a hot pot of soup, I make her hot pot of soup when she is sick. If she gets me something nice for Christmas, I get her gifts  for occasions. The list goes on.

With men, they dont mirror. You have to spell everything out. They will claim they are nice and patient, but they have to be instructed on everything but the most basic acts of kindness.  It gets old.
[/quote]

Not all men! My ex would leave me to fend for myself and kids while sick. New boyfriend will make me chicken soup, run to the store for cough drops, cuddle me, make sure I’m comfortable etc. I knew I was unhappy in my last marriage and was ok being single for the rest of my life, but wow. My eyes are opened to what an emotionally supportive partner is now. It’s life changing.[/quote]

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