Reply to How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

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Reply to "How do you “emotionally support” a woman?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think one huge mistake people make (and this isn't just about husbands) is an intolerance of the negative emotions of others. Being around someone else's negative emotions can be uncomfortable, especially if we care about them. So often people seek to do something to get those pesky emotions away. This maybe okay when you're talking about a parent distracting a toddler who is in distress because they have to leave the playground, but it's often a problem when someone dismisses negative emotions as invalid, useless, dramatic, etc. Emotions, positive and negative, have value and purpose. Honoring and being curious about someone else's emotions is part of being emotionally supportive. [/quote]

I think you are right, but only to a point. I think it is equally true that some people are routinely negative or dramatic. It is frankly selfish to expect others to constantly engage with your negative emotions, and it is egocentric to believe that all of your emotions are worthy of "honoring" by others. What we don't know about OP, or anyone else posting on here, is whether the husband might be legitimately exhausted, walking on egg shells, etc.[/quote]

I am right because I said it's *often* a problem to dismiss negative emotions. It is true that sometimes negative emotions are invalid and useless (I didn't use dramatic because I think it's an extremely rude term that is often used to dismiss valid emotion).

We do not know if OP's wife has borderline personality disorder or something, but we do know that it is extremely frequent for men to fail to emotionally support their wives. And we know that OP's wife is taking the drastic step of leaving the marriage (ostensibly) because of a lack of emotional support. If I had to bet on which spouse was right about OP's level of emotional support, I wouldn't choose OP. [/quote]

You also said, "Emotions, positive and negative, have value and purpose", which is nonsense.[/quote]

That statement may not be true for any emotion everyone has ever felt or will feel, but it hardly nonsense. I am guessing that you would also bristle if I were to say "Emotions, positive and negative, almost always have value and purpose." I can tell from your comment that you have a very low tolerance for others' emotions, either because you find them an inconvenience or because you don't have a good grip on your own emotions. Probably both. [/quote]

I think your revised sentence is nonsense too because it is so vague as to be meaningless. [/quote]

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