Reply to How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think one huge mistake people make (and this isn't just about husbands) is an intolerance of the negative emotions of others. [b]Being around someone else's negative emotions[/b] can be uncomfortable, especially if we care about them. So often people seek to do something to get those pesky emotions away. This maybe okay when you're talking about a parent distracting a toddler who is in distress because they have to leave the playground, but it's often a problem when someone dismisses negative emotions as invalid, useless, dramatic, etc. Emotions, positive and negative, have value and purpose. Honoring and being curious about someone else's emotions is part of being emotionally supportive. [/quote]

Anecdotes aren't data and all of that, but my wife is incredibly intolerant of my negative emotions. If I display any, she will pretty quickly turn it into something about her. And I think lots of guys have this experience. I could be wrong, but I don't think the world at-large is as accepting of negative emotions from men as they are from women. (I know men get angry plenty and are sometimes rewarded for it; but I think that's more because people are afraid of them than because they are accepting and supportive of those kinds of outbursts.) [/quote]

PP here and I agree with you (except your theory about why anger in men is acceptable). Some women, typically women who are very gender-conforming, often cannot stand displays of vulnerability in men. It's messed up and I'm sorry your wife isn't more emotionally supportive.

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