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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WTF. We were having sex!

Jeez people.

Maybe not the world’s most exciting sex (for me either pal…) but still having plenty of sex.

The issue is he wants to be my highest priority and he’s been a little bitter ever since we had kids.  So, lately the issues have gotten worse. I thought that therapy was really helping, but two things happened about 6 months ago. One, he started seeing a new service provider, let’s just say Larla is a personal trainer for convenience. And then there was a family health issue that really increased household stress. I felt like we were still sort of hanging on, maybe not moving forward, but staying steady anyway. Then i took off for summer travel with the kids and things have been crazy since then. Like i feel like im in the twilight zone sometimes with how hot and cold he’s been. Well, i NOW know from the phone bills that the long daily calls with larla started in August. Which really seems to have hurt our efforts at therapy. He recently fired the therapist because he didn’t like what she had to say and felt she was ‘on my side’. And now he is the center of Larla’s world which I’m sure is exactly what he wants and needs. So here we are.

I know my role in this. I get it. But i just didn’t think it would ever happen this way. [/quote]

You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is so stereotypical. Wife is still having sex but not doting and kissing his *ss.  Kids stuff and aging parents, or somebody gets ill and she gets preoccupied.  Pouty baby (often came from broken home, divorce, dysfunction) gets upset that the world isn't revolving 100% around him and 'why could the wife' not have more energy towards him? He can't see this is a NORMAL life stage in a long marriage and not a referendum on the entire thing or what it will be a few years from now, etc.

These type of people (men and women included) need boatloads of external validation to feel good about themselves and can be very selfish with blinders on.  They turn away from the marriage/spouse and get critical instead of turning in when it is most needed.[/quote]

I've also lived this, you stated it well. [/quote]

Describes most midlife affairs in a long marriage.[/quote]

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