Reply to I think I win the Thanksgiving 2023 petty vents already

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit,  the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine. [/quote]

SIL here. I like to believe I am not high maintenance but I do require being given the sheets and maybe a cup of tea and some food on arrival (o visit my brother once a year). 
We always used to have a good relationship with my SIL, but I think she started “making me my brother’s responsibility” lately (maybe for the last couple of years?)
It looks weird and makes her look like a bad host and unfriendly person.
I am not a super hostess myself but it doesn’t bother me to make my guest comfortable and offer tea and maybe some snacks or food. I don’t get it when people act all put out by such huge tasks.

This is not meant as an argument with OP or PP, just an observation. It’s not that hard to be a minimally good host. Not serving hand and foot on anyone but just being friendly and providing initial basic supplies. [/quote]

What’s wrong with your brother that he’s not offering you tea or making you comfortable? Is he a quadriplegic, or what? Why do you expect hospitality from someone with a vagina and not your brother, hmm?[/quote]

Oh, he does. It’s just that it’s so obvious how she is now “leaving everything to him”, it’s eyeroll worthy. 
She then eases up and becomes herself (I.e. does some things when she is around and leaves others to her DH/my brother when it’s convenient for them) but it’s just funny how she tries to be this modern woman who is letting her husband take responsibility for his family :) by leaving until tea is served lol [/quote]

You are lucky she is still allowing you to come stay because you sound absolutely HORRIBLE to have as a guest.  This was most likely their compromise.  You shoudl be embarrassed your brother doesn't know how to host.

When I got visit my brother and his wife, I ask him for whatever I need. Or I take myself to the coffee shop around the corner and get my own drink and a snack. It's not hard!  [/quote]

Apologies for engaging Ms. Tea & Cheese's derail, but I can't fathom showing up at my brother's house and having someone else be my primary host.  I'd feel awful if I showed up and my SIL was the one to make me tea and food while my brother was...elsewhere?  I'm Irish and we typically chat while we make tea to welcome a guest.  I'd expect my brother to be talking away while he boils the water and gets cups and some kind of cookies or something.  It would be so weird for his wife to do this...I'm his *sister*.  He's the one I want to catch up with.

It's utterly bizarre that Tea and Cheese would roll her eyes at the brother making her feel welcome, as if it's a political statement.  I'd be hurt if my brother left it to anyone else.[/quote]

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