Reply to I am an independent person, not just a conduit to my kids

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Reply to "I am an independent person, not just a conduit to my kids - rant"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you're being evasive here and choosing words carefully like "in-laws visit less" meaning you travel to your parents much more often. And the time spent around births is irrelevant to what's happening today. Face it, you put much more emphasis on seeing your parents and making it happen whereas the burden on getting together is on your in-laws and at their expense.

Also, your in-laws probably wouldn't visit you without the kids. Of course you're a conduit. Would you bother to have much of a relationship with them if you weren't married to their son? This relationship is about the kids. You're likely not that interesting to them otherwise, the same way you wouldn't seek them out if you weren't connected by marriage.[/quote]

+1 The rant became more layered as OP continued to post.

I’m gathering OP is a SAHM. As a long time SAHM myself you know you are able to do what you do because he does what he does - and what he does takes the bulk of his waking hours. You and the kids are a little unit and you are the most direct conduit to them, and that’s likely a choice you and your DH made for your family. If that is the case, you stay home because your DH values your role as a full time parent to your kids, you craft their days, schedule their activities, plan their trips. It’s a little disingenuous to then throw up your hands when it comes to his parents. Assuming you love your husband you need to help him a little bit here. IMO it’s part of the juggling we assume as the SAHP. Otherwise we can go to work too and then it can be every in-law for themselves when it comes to scheduling our limited vacation time. Your world would look very, very different.

To be clear, I’m not advocating the working parent assumes no responsibility for managing the relationship with their parents, but if OP is traveling multiple weeks a year - b/c her DH works to make that happen for her - the least she could do is throw him a bone and suck up a visit with his parents. [/quote]

I just threw up a little in my mouth. You sound like a pastoral counselor. [/quote]

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