Reply to Husband’s texts when I was out of town

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here

Some clarifications:

We have a parenting schedule inside the house so we both take different days with the kids

My conversation with the kids happened while I was in town. He seems to have heard about it while I was out of town.

I accept that I could have just let it go as other posters mentioned. I think talking to the kids about it is a grey area and assume it would be fine in a healthy relationship. The kids were not upset, they were like fine we’ll watch X show with him which is what he has been watching with them all along, I said that’s a great show and end of talk.

We separated for six months recently. During the separation he was very nasty to me. I mentioned taking the kids to a museum because it was raining one day on spring break and my friend had said it was nice. [b]He also had wanted to take the kids to this museum. He told me “if you take the kids there and ask your friend about it, I will text both your friend and her husband and tell them we are getting a divorce.”[/b] That’s the kind of jerk behavior he thinks is OK.

Yes there is likely a mental health issue here, but no he hasn’t gotten evaluated.[/quote]

So you know it’s not a “gray area” TO HIM. And knowing that, you should not have said anything about it to the kids.

I would pre-empt him and tell the friend and husband that you are getting divorced. Threat of disclosure over!

Having a kid with anxiety and one with ADHD is not the kind of “special needs” that prevent divorce. You don’t have a who kid needs a trach suctioned ten times a day. I would bet money that “anxious kid” gets far less anxious when not living with this lunatic.

Good luck.[/quote]

OP here

I didn’t say anything about the museum to the kids. I mentioned it to him because I knew he had wanted to go and wanted to make sure it was OK. Instead of saying like a normal person that he would prefer to be the first to take them, he exploded.

But yes. He has threatened that a lot. At this point I’m over it.[/quote]

I understand that you didn’t discuss the museum with the kids. My point is: you are a rational person, you had this discussion about the museum with him, and you know he had a nutty reaction to it. You also know your kids are not secret-keepers about the conversations you have with them. There is no reason someone as nutty as he was about the museum would take your guilt-tripping your kids about a TV show as a neutral act.

And: it was guilt-tripping. TV shows are not life experiences, they are entertainment. People watch them when they watch them and it is not appropriate to be commenting on when that is or how you feel about it, ESPECIALLY if you are a parent out of town at the time.

All of that said, he’s TAH. The faster you get out the better.[/quote]

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