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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread.  Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs![/quote]

I have a child kind of like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I would like to at least proofread them.[/quote]

IMO, it is a sign of immaturity and arrogance to want to “sink or swim” on your own for important things. Even the top people in any field get review & feedback and make changes based on it. It does not have to be a parent proofreading, it can be another trusted adult.[/quote]

Meh, I did all that myself as a teen. My parents were barely involved. Not that they wouldn’t have been if I had asked, I just didn’t feel the need. I was a decent writer and wrote and edited my own essays.

I realize “times are different” or whatever, but some kids are confident in their abilities and it isn’t immaturity at all. [/quote]

Meh, you didn’t even have one teacher or counselor who you trusted to read your essay. How sad for you :-/[/quote]

Why is it sad? Teachers were writing recommendations for me. And asking for help with essays just wasn't a big thing in the 90s. We had a college counselor at our school if I needed him, but I was pretty self motivated and self assured. I managed to get into multiple schools on my own and don't regret anything about my process. I was actually only 16 doing all of this, too.

I didn't see any of this as life or death. I knew I was a competitive student for most schools and wasn't overly stressed by the process. I think we've made this process more stressful than it needs to be.[/quote]

I graduated HS in 1988, my husband in 1990. We both did everything ourselves.  This was the norm, not the exception. I grew up in Fairfax County at a HS where 95% went onto 4-year colleges. My husband grew up poor where less than half went to 4-year colleges.

He paid some woman to type his essays with his paper route $.  I typed all of my essays in the high school typing lab (pre-computers)...with a whole jug of white-out.

My parents told me if I didn't want loans I could only apply in-state. That's what I did.

To say 2023 in the late80s-90s is different in college application process is a complete understatement.  It's vastly different and the cost of college subtracting out for normal inflation is astronomically higher nowadays.  The test optional and common app and kids applying to 10-15 schools vs 3-4 as the norm (which had to be physically mailed into the school) is another huge difference.

Like weddings--college prep has be come a huge $$$ business.[/quote]

^and test optional has been an absolute game changer for the worse.  It's jacked up the number of applicants to all schools by a ridiculous amount which inherently makes the entire process that much more competitive than the 90s.[/quote]

shoot, I was thrilled that several of my schools back in the 90s were on common app at the time (fairly new then). We just photo copied my application and mailed them off with checks. My alma mater was on it, but sent a one page supplemental through the mail that had to be filled out and returned for full consideration - that is likely in the app now. I just remember being relieved I didn't have to fill out their application with the ridiculous questions no teenager can reasonably answer. I went there like all the people who HAD filled out that application and graduated with honors.

I get that most here are T20 or die, but my daughter is applying to almost all common app schools, all test optional, several rolling and many don't even have app fees. She has learning and mental health challenges and is NOT like me as a student in any way. I have helped her a LOT in this process, but am really trying to NOT stress her out. I know my own kid and what she needed to have confidence to even apply. Shoot, she may not even get in anywhere, and that will be OK - we are prepared for her to go to community college and possibly even have that be it for her (there is a health related certification she is interested in)

But honestly, it doesn't HAVE to be insanely high stress at any level. We're making these kids crazy with all this pressure. It isn't worth it! The smart kids will do well no matter where they go. Having a balanced list and not all T20 helps. And even if they do somehow screw up and not get into any of the top schools, a year in community college or at a school on the list in May still accepting applications (and there are lots of them!) is NOT going to kill them. I know it feels awful at the time, but it just isn't the end of the world.[/quote]

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