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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s so hard because it’s a complicated situation. He’s ten years older, we are both married. He’s both my pastor and my boss, since I work at the church. It’s been simmering for over a decade and the feelings are still there. I feel like it’s almost “the one who got away” territory. If we had met before spouses I’m 100% certain we would have dated or more.

I honestly think the only reason we can work together is our shared moral values at this point. If either of us made a move then we wouldn’t be the person that the crush was based upon.

The whole situation makes me feel awful. I’m deeply in love with my DH but I can’t help the crush. Wish I could![/quote]

Is this crush mutual? Has either of you ever acknowledged it? [/quote]

There’s a tension between us. I think we both sense it and have to be very careful with our interactions when we find ourselves alone, which can sometimes be unavoidable. Even if you try to maintain distance and observe all proprieties, that feeling is unmistakable.

Have you ever just had an instant reaction to someone? Maybe it’s their pheromones or something, but you you can just tell you are compatible. It’s very magnetic and hard to resist, even if you aren’t looking for anything. Even if you are deliberately not flirting or looking to give an impression. [/quote]

Yep, been there, done that. You have amazing self control. You instinctively know that disclosing feelings is the WORST thing you can so in a situation like this. Once there is no more doubt whether or not the feelings are reciprocated, it becomes very, very difficult to reverse course and things escalate quickly from there on out.[/quote]

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