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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Basically this is the situation.  I am a little concerned that saying too much here will risking outing the couple involved, which I really really don’t want to do.  But man am I in a pickle.

I worked very closely with the husband for many years and was his superior.  I’m over a decade older than him.  I don’t need him for anything.

We became very good friends both inside of work and out. I became friends with the wife, too.  She’s great.  My entire family thinks highly of both of them.  I haven’t told them yet and when I do they will be floored.  I don’t even know how or what to tell them.

Since I left my job several years ago to retire early the husband has literally been the only former colleague I’ve had anything to do with. I had no interest in remaining in any contact with anyone else.  That’s how close we are.

I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage and that he was the perfect husband.  I honestly did.

He called about a week ago and said they were having some issues and asked if he could stay at our place for a while.  I had to say no because I knew my spouse would feel awkward about it.  I suggested we get together and talk things over.

When we got together, he told me that he was originally attracted to his wife because she was a very strong woman, but as the years has gone by she’s become too dependent on him and too clingy and he doesn’t like it.  He also said he’s not the same guy he was.  He’s gone from struggling to a good amount of professional success (makes in the half a million range) and no longer finds his wife to be his “intellectual equal.”  As I said earlier, they’re childless and she’s always worked - but she makes less than 1/3 of what he does.

He then told me that for years he tried to fake it and then starting stepping out and compartmentalizing his adventures because he never thought he’d ever actually leave his wife and wasn’t romantically interested in anyone he hooked up with either.  Then he met someone he does have feelings for.  She is more than 20 years younger than his wife, who by the way is several years older than him.

So he basically said he sat himself down and said “I love my wife as a person but have zero romantic love for her anymore.  Do I want a romantic partner in my future or a roommate?  Do I keep pretending to keep appearances up and make her and everyone else happy, or do I try and make myself happy?”

He chose the latter.  When he told her, he said, she literally had no clue.  She had no idea that anything was even remotely wrong with their marriage.  She thought she was married to the nicest guy in the world.

Now he’s asking to lean on me, not only in terms of lending an ear but also in terms of putting him up while he figures out next steps, etc.  There are ways I could do that pretty easily, to be honest, and he knows it.

So now I have to make decisions.

[/quote]

What another overly long superfluous post OP.

That’s for the fiction read. You’re so vested in this and trolling. [/quote]

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