Reply to Wanting to divorce a “recovered” spouse

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Wow I was surprised to see this bumped… reading it I am just now remembering how done I felt.

It has been very difficult.  I honestly don’t know what kind of update to give.  It feels like 3 steps forward, 2 steps back a lot of the time.  My feelings towards DH are much better.  Last week in particular, after months of being “good,” he returned to a lot of old behaviors, we had a big fight, and he finally agreed with the marriage counselor to do actual anger management and return to individual counselling (he had let it drop off, which really upset me).

Separation is now “on the table” and DH has agreed to temporarily leave if I ask him to.  It is kind of sad because he had made a lot of progress and I was not interested in divorce anymore but I also can’t live with him if he isn’t vigilant over himself and can’t control these behaviors.  But I’m not really angry at him anymore.  I think I will always love him on some level even if we realize we can’t really make a good home together.

I’ve also had to acknowledge my own role in a very very toxic dynamic which is very hard.

I honestly don’t know what is going to happen.    Not much of an update, I guess.[/quote]

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