Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted about my DH's EA.  Nope, I was not withholding.  Our marriage was happy, and HE is the first person to say that.  He never felt that he was falling out of love with me.  He never thought that he was unhappy or unfulfilled in our relationship.  He thought he was giving advice to his "good friend" and helping her make decisions about her life.

Look, all marriages have issues, some major and some minor.  My DH's biggest problem was, in the end, alcoholism.  He has been sober since shortly after admitting that his relationship had crossed an emotional line.

I have said before and will say it again:  [b]unhappy marriages don't cause affairs. [/b] But affairs cause unhappy marriages.  And many people who cheat do so for selfish reasons, and [b]only start to claim unhappiness in the marriage when they are well on their way to having an affair[/b].[/quote]

PP here.  No offense but those are the statements of a person who would not acknowledge her role in a crumbling marriage even if alcoholism wasn’t a factor!  Unhappy marriages do not cause affairs, but it is naïve to think that they are always unrelated. Why else would a lot of people head down that road if everything was right at home?  Sure, some folks would cheat anyways, but would people in a truly happy marriage risk it absent addiction or emotional issues?  Sure, EVERYONE who cheats does so for selfish reasons and most of the time it is because of a perceived lack of something at home.  We can argue about whether that perceived lack is BS justification, but most people who have EA or physical affairs can give you some justification for it.  In my case, I saw that, although my DH was dead azz wrong, [b]both[/b] of us had contributed to the decline of the marriage. [/quote]

There are studies that show that this is not true. Men who are happy at home and men who are not happy at home have affairs at the same rate. It is pure statistics. There is no coorelation between being unhappy and having an affair - this is for men only. [/quote]

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