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[quote=Anonymous]Road biking can be incredibly dangerous. My spouse had an accident and was hospitalized and has back damage as a result. I have another relative who has brain damage after an accident.

I see two issues here:
1.) The risk that he will die and be gone from your family and loss of all that emotional and logistics and financial support…the worry
2.) The cost to you in hours that you must spend taking care of the children/him alone either because he is off riding or because he has been injured and is now recuperating.

If it was up to me, I would be keeping a careful tally of every single hour I spend doing some thing I would not otherwise have to do (solo child care, care of him because he’s injured). And then calmly present him with this tally and ask him, “why do you think I should spend X percent of my waking hours and finite existence in support of this activity of yours? Are you prepared to spend just as much time supporting an activity that is important to *me*?” Are there literally enough hours in the week for him to equally support you? If not, how does he reconcile this in his mind?

So you can certainly deal with issue #2. To me that would be non-negotiable. After he recovers, you get to go off by yourself to some tropical island island for a set period of time or something like that. And if he’s gonna continue biking, there has to be some equal provision of alone time for you to pursue your interests.

#1 is much harder because it gets into his identity and sense of himself as a person, a person that you love and probably want to support in his passions. He probably is not going to want to quit. Even after this accident. It may not be reasonable to ask him to do so. The question is, can you live with it?

I remember reading about a father of young children, a mountain climber, who climbed Mount Everest and died at the top. Personally, I would not want to be married to somebody who would be willing to take that kind of risk while supposedly being a father. But the person who had children with him knew that he was a mountain climber… And knew that he was going to keep climbing Mountains…[/quote]

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