Reply to Husband doesn't help with hardly anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, this is the PP who says you should talk less, act more. You dismiss what I say, saying you won’t live in a sty. You also say you don’t want a divorce. Is this how you are with your spouse, you just dismiss everything he says and just stick to your complaints? If so, then I understand why he says you are making things miserable and why he avoids you. Why are you stuck in this role and unwilling to change? How does it benefit you—It *must* benefit you because you are choosing it.
I seriously think you need therapy and possibly medication for depression. If nothing else therapy would help you find new strategies and ways of talking to your husband.
If your response to that is that therapy won’t work and that you are too busy for therapy because your spouse is so lazy and awful, then I suggest you look up the term “help rejecting complainer” and consider the possibility that The situation you were in with your husband is actually extremely comfortable for you despite the fact that you say you hate it.
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there’s some kernel of truth here but it’s also tremendously victim-blaming. on a daily basis OP didn’t have a choice when her DH started pulling stunts like making their small child wake him up to take her to school. she’s only “comfortable” with it  inadmuch as she has to supress active anger and rage to get through the unfairness of it all. because with men like this, it’s NOT the case that OP could have just “made a choice” for him to do more. No, she likely went through all sorts of phases where she tried to get him to, from discussing to anger to pleading. What happened is NOT that she made some kind of choice because it benefited her, but that he taught her by his actions that there is nothing she can do about it. She got conditioned to it. It’s low-key abusive TBH.

yes now she does have a choice whether to divorce or not. this is a huge change with serious costs & benefits to weigh, like finances and time with her child. she’s not being a “help-rejecting complainer” to have difficulty making this decision. [/quote]

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