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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband doesn't help with hardly anything"
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[quote=Anonymous]I am the person who thought you should re-search help-rejecting complainer. In one of your posts you said “he thought his mom always resented his dad.” This suggests to me that you and your spouse have devolved into comfortable patterns that you learned from your families of origin. His mom resented his dad; You now resent him. This kind of stuff isn’t a coincidence. The stuff you are complaining about seems so small scale to me. He ordered dinner out and didn’t clean up? Or rather, he didn’t clean up on your schedule. You sound like you are just walking around like a little rage ball looking for things to be angry about. It’s not his fault that you have to wake up and commute to a job! You are not happy with your life but instead of making any changes you were just blaming everything on him and making him into the villain. People who live with help rejecting complainers get totally demoralized and check out because there is *nothing* they can say or do that will stop the complaining. Just like I don’t think you are really listening to anything anyone says on this forum that doesn’t agree with you, I don’t believe that you will actually hear anything that your spouse says because you have already decided in your mind what the story is, and the story is that you are terribly put upon and victimized and everyone should feel sorry for you. I believe you are quite comfortable in this position and will not want to do anything to change it, despite talking constantly about how unhappy you are and how everything is unfair to you. [/quote]
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