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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spouse of big law partner here.

DH makes close to 2M.  There has been one night in the last 6 months he wasn't home in time for dinner and bedtime.  Oldest kid plays travel soccer, and he goes to every game (I don't - not my thing).  He also coaches younger kid's sports team, so obviously attends / leads every weekday practice and every weekend game.  The two of us have date night weekly, and usually spend an hour together every night after the kids are in bed.  Then he does another 90 minutes of work while I read next to him.

Overall he works around 50-60 hours a week max.  He's highly efficient and very smart (HYP educated), and he's also good at client relationships and managing other lawyers, so he brings in a lot since he takes a cut of the entire client bill - in other words, the hours of those he manages, not just his own hours.  Working the longest hours is not always correlated with bringing in the most money.

I know it's tempting to believe that those with more money must somehow be miserable, but it's not always true.[/quote]

I find it extraordinarily hard to believe that he wasn’t home only once for dinner in the last six months.  I can’t think of a single Biglaw partner in the United States of America who can make that claim.  Other than that, sure.  [/quote]

Pp here.

If it’s so hard to believe, I just don’t think you know that many big law partners. Or at least equity partners. DH works hard but if he wants to be home for dinner, he can be home for dinner. Same is true for every other equity partner we know. [/quote]

Ok, and what about the 15+ years before now, when he was an associate or non-equity partner? You're glossing over the 70 hour weeks, all-nighters and travel required for years to get to that point. No BigLaw partner just coasts along working 40 hours per week until they make equity. [/quote]

PP again. He had 8 years as an associate, then straight to equity. First 3 years as an as associate were not terrible. Next 5 years involved some late nights but nothing like the exaggerated stories I hear on DCUM. He’s only been a partner for around 5 years and it’s consistently been better than the years he was a senior associate.

My point is, many partners do not have miserable lives, as is often suggested here.

As a general matter, people don’t get paid more for working harder or longer, as much as they do for providing something others can’t and being difficult to replace. Nurses probably work harder days than many big law partners, but the barrier to entry for nursing is not high (unlike law) and there’s no way economic reason for excellent nurses to be highly compensated. And blue collar workers? SO many work harder than law partners, but their skills are not unique, so the supply outstrips demand.

I’m not saying it’s fair. It’s kind of not.  But it’s how the world works, and it shouldn’t be shocking that LOTS of people with LOTS of money live relatively balanced lives. And LOTS of people with little money work two jobs and have pretty miserable lives just to be lower middle class.[/quote]

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