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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - do you have access/login and checkbook to the account where your spouse keeps the $8/k savings? If not, sorry to break it but it will be extremely easy for him to clear the account in the event of divorce and you would have to spend hundreds of thousands to recover it or get a higher share in other assets to compensate you. That all sounds super fishy to me with his plans to scale back his work, controlling you, and not being really involved in family and childcare. [/quote]

Fishy how?  No I don't have access to the personal account.  I only have access to the shared family account. [/quote]

In marriage all accounts are joint property. Regardless on whose name it is. I just explained to your above that you basically don't have access to a major account with ALL family liquid savings. You are either naive or a total fool to enable it, and believe that he doesn't have any back thoughts about your marriage future. Do you have 100K to spend on lawyers and forensic accountants to see how much was in that account and get your 50% ? That would take 2-3 years of litigation. And this is why he keeps it separate. There could be individual accounts in marriage for small expenses like hobbies, presents etc but major savings should be kept on a joint account, particular when one spouse is SAH.

I would NEVER be able to sleep well at night having kids, no job and such financial setup in marriage[/quote]

I don't really know how divorce affects financial splits, so I'm curious to know.  I don't expect that we will divorce, but I'm not naiive enough to think it could never happen to us.

I don't believe my spouse is intentionally hiding anything from me.  If I ask, I'm told exactly how much is in the account, and if I were to ask for a login and pw to the account, I'm sure I would be given it, I just haven't done so.  It could be a control thing, but not in a malicious way, more in a way of my spouse just likes to remain in control of their financial future, and a dislike for changing the way they've done things for all their lives.[/quote]

It's not just the login: it's the account itself that should be joint, under both names. Otherwise he can just change login and move all funds to a private account (including overseas) and you'll be screwed[/quote]

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