Reply to Parents of three, do you feel less bonded to your third?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The self righteousness of parents with two or less children commenting on this thread is laughable.  The subject is "Parents of three...." and yet here you are, four pages into it with these mean and usless comments.  Go away!

Three is perfect and I believe there's a season for every child; give yourself grace OP -  we all have a stage that is hardest for us to parent and that usually makes the bonding harder as well.   I have three, all the same gender and while every relationship is different, I believe they'd all say they are the favorite or least favorite depending on the day.

[/quote]

+1 agree with all of this, including the request for the parents of two who are still constantly trying to justify / talk themselves into their decisions to pipe down.

But yes I feel bonded to all 3, in different ways and more or less so at different times. Kids go through phases, and I may feel more or less “bonded” to that kid as a person during said time…not that it changes in any way how I treat them or how much I love them. For instance, my oldest is in a tough phase right now - she’s having a hard time and is lashing out at me a lot. But she’s 5 and just started K and from talking to other moms, this is a pretty common thing regardless of # of siblings at home. I will continue to attempt to connect with and support her, just as I’ve always done, and I have no doubt she’ll be in the next phase before I know it. Meanwhile my second child is currently easy and fun and open and super interested in connecting with me, so yes I’d say (to strangers, anonymously and not in front of anyone) that I feel more bonded to him currently, but I’m aware that will shift multiple times over time. Kids are people too! My third is an adorable 1.5 year old and I’ve felt very bonded to him from day 1…and he’s still (essentially) a baby and there’s not that potential for complex dynamics just yet

So OP to answer your question, no I don’t feel less bonded to my third; I’d say I have a unique and ever-evolving relationship with each of my children, but also it doesn’t really occur to me to compare strengths of bonds. I can’t tell how serious this feels, but if you’re really not feeling connected at all to your 3rd and you’re concerned, I wonder if it could be PPD? [/quote]

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