Reply to husband as "junior partner" in childrearing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”[/quote]

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

[/quote]

Just go to bed.[/quote]

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?[/quote]

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.[/quote]

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.[/quote]

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.[/quote]

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting.  Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench.  But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time).  To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole.  There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?[/quote]

I don't believe this. No kid would let it get to 9 without demanding dinner or something to eat. [/quote]

My kid with ADHD would do this. She'd get involved in playing on her own in her room and just not pay attention to the fact that she was hungry, getting tired, and probably needed to go to the bathroom. She really does need the external cue of being called to dinner to initiate getting those needs met.

Lots of kids need that structure. That's why in most families, the parents dictate when mealtimes happen and call kids to eat, instead of just waiting until kids say they are hungry and seeing how that goes. It takes very little trial and error to discover that waiting for kids to identify their needs and then vocalize them clearly is a good path to meltdowns and frustration. Kids, especially younger kids or those like mine with executive functioning issues, are still learning how to identify and articular needs. Parents are supposed to be helping them do that, not simply hoping they figure it out on their own.[/quote]

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