Reply to Is there any way to convince a young man to step it up because he will never do better?

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Reply to "Is there any way to convince a young man to step it up because he will never do better?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was engaged at 25 to my college boyfriend after dating about 5 years. I would have left if he did not propose within a year or so of that time frame.

I don't understand all the posters advising their kids to wait until they're in their late 20's or 30s to get married.

In this forum, there's plenty of stories of the long lasting happy marriages where people met early (in college or early 20s) and married before they turned 30.

You can save money by living together being DINKs working on your future together. With combined household income, you can get on the property ladder faster. You bring less baggage. You have a better chance of being true equals (whereas that's harder with a financially established man in his mid-30s marrying a 25-year old woman who is just beginning her career).

I guess OP needs to understand WHY her son isn't ready to commit. Whether it's a general fear of marriage, or something about this GF in particular.[/quote]

The most likely/common issue why the son hasn't proposed is some form of sexual incompatibility.    To someone like OP, that's something that would be too "shameful" to discuss with the gf or her son.  But since OP isn't really concerned about her son's happiness, it doesn't matter.    And of course the son is never going to discuss sexual stuff with his mommy.  Nor would the gf.  The gf might have discussed sexual issues with the son's sister, but again, wouldn't be able to discuss such stuff with an overbearing judgmental person like the OP.

OP's son is apparently in his first-ever serious long term relationship, and OP herself perceives her own son as such an unattractive "loser" (i.e. not sexually attractive to other high quality future females) that the current gf is his ONLY shot at "happiness."

Maybe OP's son is terrible and clumsy in bed.   Maybe both of them are and are too cowed and timid by family members such as OP to realize it doesn't have to be that way.

Maybe the reason the son isn't willing to commit is because his controlling momma is trying to force him to get married.

Could be a lot of reasons, but OP isn't the type of person who will be able to get a real or honest answer from her son, because she's not looking for answers.  She's looking for obedience and compliance to her gameplan for the lives of her son and his gf.[/quote]

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