Reply to Why does 4 kids seem so much more than 3?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think once you get to the 4th kid you tend to have a parent who is not working or only working very part time. So in that regard there is always a dedicated parent whose life is very kid-centered. I have 3 and my career is my 4th kid. I think one more kid would be the tipping point. I’m also still hanging on to keeping my home fairly near and tidy/organized. Whereas I think once you hit 4 + you’re the type of family that embraces the chaos so to speak. (Unless you’re like a Mormon blogger type with family to help you so you can maintain that Pinterest home). [/quote]

Once you have 4 kids in after school activities, it really doesn’t matter that one parent is home. There are still only 2 adults to manage driving/dinner/homework/bedtime.

Signed,
A SAHM of two with not much evening bandwidth to spare. [/quote]

That’s assuming there’s no extended family that helps out, no mothers helpers, and that all 4 kids do after school activities.

Assuming all four kids are neurotypical, by the time the youngest does after school activities and has actual homework (8?), the oldest kid or two should be able to do their own homework and manage their own bedtime, no?[/quote]

I'm the PP. If I had two more kids right now, (let's call them 9 and 6 since my kids are 3 years apart) they'd either be stuck home all the time with a grandparent or "mother's helper" or being drug to one of their two sibling's activities. Either way, its not remotely the experience my older two children had at those ages. Seems pretty unfair, but large families aren't concerned with individual attention, or actual parents caring for children. [/quote]

What a gross thing to say. [/quote]

What's "gross" about it? Are you 9? Its not logistically or mathematically possible for parents of 4 kids to parent as much as a parent of two kids or 1 kid. Its just not. And rather than admitting they are fine with this arrangement, parents in big families argue their kids aren't short changed at all. I can't believe these families are getting babysitters 3-4 nights a week so that the younger kids don't have to be schlepped around. And even if they are, that's a lot of time to spend with a babysitter when you've already spent the entire day away from your parents at school. We had kids because we actually wanted to parent them ourselves. [/quote]

If there is a minimum ideal range  of one on one time parents should spend with their children, spell it out ( with evidence) and then make an argument that it's impossible to do that with 4 kids in a certain age range.

Otherwise, your argument is biased and centered around your rigid worldview. Or you can keep going: Why does anyone have 2 kids then? Why does any household have 2 working parents? Why does any working parent work day hours instead of night time hours so they can spend more time with their 1 kid? Why should these children even go to school or have playmates when they could be spending time with their parents?[/quote]

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