Reply to Why does 4 kids seem so much more than 3?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think once you get to the 4th kid you tend to have a parent who is not working or only working very part time. So in that regard there is always a dedicated parent whose life is very kid-centered. I have 3 and my career is my 4th kid. I think one more kid would be the tipping point. I’m also still hanging on to keeping my home fairly near and tidy/organized. Whereas I think once you hit 4 + you’re the type of family that embraces the chaos so to speak. (Unless you’re like a Mormon blogger type with family to help you so you can maintain that Pinterest home). [/quote]

Once you have 4 kids in after school activities, it really doesn’t matter that one parent is home. There are still only 2 adults to manage driving/dinner/homework/bedtime.

Signed,
A SAHM of two with not much evening bandwidth to spare. [/quote]

That’s assuming there’s no extended family that helps out, no mothers helpers, and that all 4 kids do after school activities.

Assuming all four kids are neurotypical, by the time the youngest does after school activities and has actual homework (8?), the oldest kid or two should be able to do their own homework and manage their own bedtime, no?[/quote]

I'm the PP. If I had two more kids right now, (let's call them 9 and 6 since my kids are 3 years apart) they'd either be stuck home all the time with a grandparent or "mother's helper" or being drug to one of their two sibling's activities. Either way, its not remotely the experience my older two children had at those ages. Seems pretty unfair, but large families aren't concerned with individual attention, or actual parents caring for children. [/quote]

Putting aside how rude your comment is, I think you’re not recognizing the benefits that come with siblings being parented as a group. I have 3 and sometimes a kid or 2 gets toted along to a sibling’s practice. But there’s almost always other siblings brought along too. And many of the fields are right next to a playground.

With 3 kids and keeping busy, we are pretty much always around other kids. Mine always have a play mate and are good at cross age play. They get invited back to play dates because they know how to include siblings. We do also make sure to schedule them 1:1 time, they all got to do varied camps based on their interests this summer, and they get to take turns inviting a friend when we do family activities.

But I guess I just don’t see growing up in a family where you’re expected to do things for the benefit of others and to be able to go with the flow as a bad thing.[/quote]

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