Reply to Why does 4 kids seem so much more than 3?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think once you get to the 4th kid you tend to have a parent who is not working or only working very part time. So in that regard there is always a dedicated parent whose life is very kid-centered. I have 3 and my career is my 4th kid. I think one more kid would be the tipping point. I’m also still hanging on to keeping my home fairly near and tidy/organized. Whereas I think once you hit 4 + you’re the type of family that embraces the chaos so to speak. (Unless you’re like a Mormon blogger type with family to help you so you can maintain that Pinterest home). [/quote]

Once you have 4 kids in after school activities, it really doesn’t matter that one parent is home. There are still only 2 adults to manage driving/dinner/homework/bedtime.

Signed,
A SAHM of two with not much evening bandwidth to spare. [/quote]

That’s assuming there’s no extended family that helps out, no mothers helpers, and that all 4 kids do after school activities.

Assuming all four kids are neurotypical, by the time the youngest does after school activities and has actual homework (8?), the oldest kid or two should be able to do their own homework and manage their own bedtime, no?[/quote]

I'm the PP. If I had two more kids right now, (let's call them 9 and 6 since my kids are 3 years apart) they'd either be stuck home all the time with a grandparent or "mother's helper" or being drug to one of their two sibling's activities. Either way, it's not remotely the experience my older two children had at those ages. Seems pretty unfair, but large families aren't concerned with individual attention, or actual parents caring for children. [/quote]

But you are (presumably) speaking from your own experience, which cannot be generalized to all kids.  Many 6 and 9 year olds would love to be with their grandparents / sitters for a few hours each week.  When my kids were younger, we had a 19 year old neighbor who helped me from 4-7 PM several nights a week.  My kids LOVED her.  She was like the cool big sister who brought new energy to our home.  Having her around also allowed my kids to enjoy more individualized attention.

Honestly, it feels like you have an agenda here.  You have parents of four on here telling you that their kids are loved and cared for.  You have PPs on here who grew up in large families telling you there was lots of love and care.  It seems like you want to invalidate their lived experiences.  You may want to explore why that is.

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