Reply to Charging a parent for care when one sibling does nothing

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Charging a parent for care when one sibling does nothing"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don’t you work with the sibling over the finances to spend your mother’s money now? You get your time back. Your finance sibling does what they’ve always done. And there is less money to be split equally with the sibling you say does nothing, so hopefully there’s also less resentment.  [/quote]

This is the solution I was going to propose as well.  I would hire more help to ease the burden on you.  It sounds very hard, and I can understand why you're struggling.  [/quote]

This.

[b]OP one little red flag I see is how angry your mommy gets if you propose someone else giving her meds. Has she always been so controlling or did it just get worse or is it new. Sure we can say it's fear or dementia or a difficult person. You know what else it is? Unreasonable. [/b]Some might say family do a better job. Family get burned out and can sometimes be far worse than a professional caregiver who doesn't have so many emotions invested and who just wants to do a competent job,

Maybe 7 years ago I was you posting on here incensed at how much I was doing and in my case, parent didn't appreciate it and sibling was a jerk. People kept telling me I chose this and could make change and it made me so angry. Finally I got over myself and we hired out a lot. There was major fallout. It was still well worth it. Mommy was mad and still is. Mommy doesn't get to dictate. Siblings were upset it meant less inheritance, but they were welcome to step up. Heck now I may be cut off from any inheritance, but you know I have? My sanity and health, both of which were in the trash at the time. I gave up caring what others thought and in fact one of mom's neighbors told me she was amazed at how much I did, so I guess someone noticed and cared. Oh and mom is still alive and angry and difficult as ever. It's a long marathon. Do you think anyone cared when it did in my health and I was in the hospital. Nope just my husband and kids, but the takers didn't care. This isn't about your sibling. This is about you and your limits and not letting mom's anger run the show.[/quote]

The amazing thing is that the mother was a nurse. So she gave meds to thousands of vulnerable people, but that’s not good enough for her? No. Sorry.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics