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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All of the people telling you to let it go have never been where you are, OP. I have. You need information, and your DH should be willing to answer every single questions you have until you don't need to ask them any more. The mind movies you experience, the need to know every detail - it's so you can heal, not to punish him. And he should know that. My DH answered every question I had, even ones I had already asked. He said he had the absolute responsibility to help me heal, and that *I* got to decide what that looked like.

Four months is absolutely nothing. Of course the cheater wants it all to be over. But it isn't FOR YOU. So ask your questions. And find a decent therapist, cause neither mine nor my DH's would ever say that four months was adequate to get over this.[/quote]

Agree.  4 months was absolutely still ground zero in our house.  I was still barely functioning.  Spouse was in the thick of his own therapy.  I had not even agreed to couples counseling at that point.  I didn’t ask for anything- my spouse provided it and went through the interrogations and calmly answered questions over and over as the mind movies and triggers were just awful for me. I couldn’t sleep. Nights were the worst.0 He took over everything in the house and was fully supportive. He read so many books about helping me heal and went out and got a vasectomy on his own accord. Told me to draft any pre-nup I needed, etc. It was 6 moths before I even agreed to couples therapy because he needed his own work first.

But this guy at 4 months done with hearing about it?  Just no.  He definitely hasn’t any clue the magnitude of trauma he inflicted. I question whether he truly is sorry or remorseful.  [/quote]

Totally agree. This was my exact experience as well. 4 months is NOTHING in the healing process.[/quote]

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