Reply to Single mom IVF- Fair to future child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am married but I have friends who are SMBC and in several situations, their kids have more stability and family support than mine do, because the moms have such supportive families.

My spouse and I have really unsupportive extended families. We work hard to make sure our kids have positive relationships and memories with grandparents, and get to know their cousins, but we don't derive any support of any kind from parents or siblings and our families have never been helpful in terms of helping raise our kids; we've had to make tough choices to shield our kids from certain aspects of our families that could be negative influences.

I have a friend who is a SMBC who lives on the same block as her sister who has same age kids, the families share a lot of childcare and support duties, the cousins are very close, and all the adults have meaningful relationships with all the kids.

I have another friends who is a SMBC whose mom lives with her in an apartment attached to her house, is a daily presence in her son's life, is a form of support for my friend. She is filling the role of co-parent, and in some ways is better than a spouse would be because her mom doesn't work, is a widow, and views her role as grandmother and caregiver to be the most important role of this phase of her life.

In short, I know a number of SMBC who are able to give their kids as much if not more than I can give my kids in terms of stability and family support. The idea that a nuclear family is the ideal way to raise kids assumes a lot of things about how that nuclear family is set up, and IME it doesn't always work that way.[/quote]

We have some so ilia ties with our extended family situation. One thing I’ve focused on over the past decade is friendships. My kids won’t grow up with cousins they are close to or know but we have our friends families.[/quote]

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