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Reply to "Terrified and depressed due to downward mobility "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did not start rich but we feel pretty well off. 1) Paid off student debt in 2 yrs after living on Ramen and Beans. 2) Cooked at home from scratch. Ate a lot of vegetarian meals. 3) Bought a lovely new SFH in an average neighborhood that we could live forever if needed. 4) Send kids to public school. Taught them at home so that they could get into magnet STEM programs. 5) Had only one cheap car (Corolla) and we kept it till it died. Bought a second car only when we had our first kid. 6) Kids went to state flagships to study STEM on scholarships. 7) Only had 2 kids. Delayed having kids because we were too poor. Never had pets because it is a cost and responsibility. 8) Did not take expensive vacations. Only started to go abroad in recent years in our 50s. 9) In our late 50s, we are able to have a secure retirement, pay for our kids college, give them both new cars that they can keep for 10 yrs or so, have told our kids to live with us to save on rent and other costs. Will pay for their weddings. Have offered to babysit if they live close by to us. Maybe give them some seed money. My kids will have to work and live frugally. But, we already are able to give them more than what we were given. We also have told them to not expect to match our current lifestyle at late 50s, when they are in their 20s and 30s. They are starting out and they will have to be frugal and creative, just like we were. OP, you have a lot of money. If you cannot grow wealthy on this amount of money then you are really not very smart. There is a lot of entitlement in your post. [/quote] Honestly, you are as annoying as the OP. I say this as someone who lives a much easier life than I might have thanks to my family. No college debt, a small inheritance in my 20s kept me afloat for a PhD. Now I actually make bank as a tech entrepreneur on the side and a professor, and my family is doing great. But I worked 60+ hours a week even with a baby. I had no maternity leave. My child is SN and I can't "teach him at home" to get into STEM magnetic schools (Though he is in one, but also requires a ton of therapy and expensive services). I was able to throw money at problems (like getting a baby nurse) and get good child care. These things were crucial to get where I am. Eating beans wouldn't have been enough. Is that what we are coming to? A UMC life isn't just being able to afford a Tesla and a Volvo. It is the security of knowing that you will not be poor in your old age and that your children will not be poor or at a clear disadvantage to a majority of the population. Downward mobility is seeing your family headed in that direction even if right now you are doing "fine". Yes, many people experience that experience, but it was once the promise of America that *on average*, you would go the other way. The reality is that now *on average* we are going the other way. And not because we are lazy or stupid. Telling the OP she is that misses the point. The threshold of "good enough to not be downwardly mobile" has changed. And not because others are becoming more upwardly mobile. People are working longer hours, housing and college and health care and food cost more. Yes, our parents didn't have cell phones, but then again their bosses didn't expect them to answer those cell phones at 9 pm or when they were on vacation. I don't buy that argument at all. It is frustrating to realize even as someone who as "made it" by most standards to worry that my kids may lead a hard life, because the world is insanely competitive and, wait for it, downwardly mobile. I'm working to save them a little money but it's hard to fight the law of averages without being the rare exception. [/quote]
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