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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I realize this thread is likely going to deteriorate rapidly, im hoping to get a few examples from those living it and hoping those that answer don’t bother coming back to read what will likely spiral into “why did you even have kids” comments

My therapist observed I’ve really narrowly boxed myself into what makes a “good” parent and what makes a “good” professional life basically leaving no viable option to feel good about how I’m doing about both.  Logically I agree, but I’m trying to turn that practically into ways I can loosen my rigid parenting definitely

So if you and your spouse both have fairly inflexible jobs, are you comfortable with:
- someone else (nanny / grandparent) - taking your kid to routine doctor and dental appts
- your kid not always having someone at every school performance
- you kid having someone else help them get ready for school or eat dinner with them on a routine basis (not everyday night but not like once a month either)

What are things you feel must be done by a parent (if anything in particular) versus a more flexible generally being there for them and spending enough time with them without rigid rules around what’s ok [/quote]

I’m not going to read all 7 pages of this thread but here’s what we do (two demanding and inflexible jobs):

* Have an amazing nanny who we treat and pay extremely well.

* Nanny gets little kid dressed, does most dr appointments, drives to all activities, feeds and bathes kids. They don’t have homework yet but she has the older kid practice reading and writing every day.

* I come home just in time to put kids to bed almost every night and get to do the fun stuff with them — read to them and talk about their days. When I have to travel or have a late work call husband does bedtime then.

* We make every performance and school event as a family.

* Weekends are free for family time since we’re not running around to activities.

The downsides are that I have to work late almost every single night because of the time I spend putting them to bed and I also have no time to exercise or socialize with my husband. And my older kid really wants more of my time.

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