Reply to Anyone else realize how crappy their own mother was once you became a mother yourself?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I had super little kids, I was more impressed by the fact that my parents had tended to me around the clock! I remember tearily calling my mom and thanking her at one point.

You are doing your mom a disservice to compare her parenting of you as a teen (through your own teenage lens of things!) to your parenting of young toddlers.[/quote]

One can absolutely recognize a parent failed them as a teen based on one's experience parenting a toddler.  Many parenting skills are foundational and remain constant regardless of the child's age - things like emotional regulation, emotional validation, consistency, appropriateness, active listening, affection, etc.[/quote]

I think the PP meant you can't judge your OWN parenting of a teen by how you parent your toddler and baby. Just wait. You may think you're doing way better than your own parents did, but your teen will rage at you just the same. Then what will you say?[/quote]

You mean rage at you the way a toddler rages at you? If found many similarities between parenting toddlers and parenting teens. As 18:57 said, you don't take their moodiness personally. You continue to treat them with kindness,  model the behaviors you want them to have and act in ways they know they are respected. That doesn't mean there aren't boundaries or consequences.

You don't become estranged from people you feel safe with.
[/quote]

Every child is different. Personally, I don’t find a lot of similarities in the toddler-teen rages. Toddlers’ worlds are pretty small…back then I could help them resolve their issues, since their frustrations were usually within our home or small sphere. My teens? It is a whole different story. Their struggles & issues are more theirs alone…I don’t have control over their friends, teachers, workplaces, etc. I can provide a safe sounding board & a safe place for them at home, but it is totally different than having toddlers. 
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