Reply to Anyone else realize how crappy their own mother was once you became a mother yourself?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I had super little kids, I was more impressed by the fact that my parents had tended to me around the clock! I remember tearily calling my mom and thanking her at one point.

You are doing your mom a disservice to compare her parenting of you as a teen (through your own teenage lens of things!) to your parenting of young toddlers.[/quote]

One can absolutely recognize a parent failed them as a teen based on one's experience parenting a toddler.  Many parenting skills are foundational and remain constant regardless of the child's age - things like emotional regulation, emotional validation, consistency, appropriateness, active listening, affection, etc.[/quote]

I think the PP meant you can't judge your OWN parenting of a teen by how you parent your toddler and baby. Just wait. You may think you're doing way better than your own parents did, but your teen will rage at you just the same. Then what will you say?[/quote]
I can speak to that as I was abused by my parents and am now raising teens. There are changes teens go through as they grow towards adulthood. Moodiness is to be expected. There are developmental reasons teens act out and say things we as parents may not like. I have treated my kids with kindness from day one. We have modeled respectful behavior and have shown the kids we value them. I don't take their moodiness personally and I give them space and privacy. So far, so good at 15 and 17. I can tell you my kids are worlds above where I was at their ages. I didn't even speak to my parents and I had an entire life outside the home which was filled with violence and horrors which replicated my experiences inside the home. [/quote]

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