Reply to Ex DH is a Christian who ended our marriage due to adultery

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to say this delicately as I do see the value in religion and in fact am a member of a church. However, I consider my association with church/Christianity to be cultural and I don't believe that the Bible is literally true.

OK, so I think that believing in the supernatural or holy books sets people up for this kind of things. It's a chicken and an egg kind of thing . . . do people believe these things because their personalities are such that they can't face the wonders and unknowns of the universe and need pat answers? Or does believing things that would obviously be considered fables and myths in another culture slowly erode our ability to discern reality? IDK.

Another thing to point out is intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation. People who are motivated by not being punished (maybe . . . if they are caught . . . but wouldn't God just forgive them later if they repent?) are less strongly motivated than those who choose live with integrity for integrity's sake. We shouldn't need to believe in a Big Daddy in the sky who will punish us if we get out of line in order to know that we need to live by the golden rule.

You know what happens ALL THE TIME? Prisoners convert while in prison. They get "prison ministry penpals" and "fall in love" with the ladies writing them letters. Isn't it super convenient that they chose a religion that comes with a big "get out of jail free" card? You don't have to pay your debt because Jesus already did!

Combining your story and my last example . . . someone close to me left her husband of 30 years for her prison ministry penpal (a r*pist!). She said God led her to do it. Apparently, after this guy beat her up, God also led her to leave him. But wait, actually, God led HIM to leave her for . .. someone he met at truck driving school. It gets very confusing about whom God is leading to chuck their spouse for someone more enticing, but apparently, God is a very complicated match-making and un-making app . . .

Your kids will see through this. Your husband is doing them a disservice. You can't be this huge of a hypocrite and expect your kids not to notice. It would be better just to say "I know I made a bad choice and went against what the Bible teaches" rather than pretending the creator of the universe is intimately concerned with your love life.

Adultery is wrong because one person thinks they are in a contract with another, who is secretly breaking it so they don't have to deal with the consequences. It's fine to end a marriage or relationship and start a new one. It's not OK to lie and gaslight and blame, and take a person's ability to make informed decisions away from them. And no church is going to whitewash that. [/quote]

God gets blamed for a whole lot of stuff people do on their lonesome but are ashamed to admit. [/quote]

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