Reply to Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Likely when you were dating, the kids and suburban life was some ideal mirage that seemed okay.

He’s older now, and has friends who have had kids and he knows the stories from the trenches: lack of sleep, whiney kids and teens, expensive daycare and activities, and the biggie: decline in sex because DW is wiped out caring for kids.

You waited to long, he knows what I really means to “have a baby” — it’s a lifetime of commitment and sacrifice.

He probably expects you to leave and he can date a younger model and repeat the cycle. [/quote]

Op here. I am thinking this too. He doesn’t like to be inconvenienced and has a short discomfort tolerance and he is more curmudgeonly as he gets older.

I thought he would become more mature but it’s the opposite case here. [/quote]

Or, he has become more mature and realizes his desires and limitations and is expressing them.

We need to stop it with the having kids is somehow the more mature or more adult decision, or that people who choose not to have kids are selfish narrative. [/quote]

Flushing a decade of someone's top fertile years down the toilet because you suddenly became "more mature"  is the definition of selfish.[/quote]

This. OPs husband is a sick, selfish person. Declining fertility after 35 is a known, published, fact. So what her husband had done is vastly limit HER options in order to preserve his. Frankly this kind of abuse is the kind of thing which would make me not want to have a kid with him at all— what other sacrifices with your children be making to make sure he’s not inconvenienced.

To be clear, if he was saying this when she was 30 and giving her the option to pursue parenthood and a loving family elsewhere I would not feel this way. There is nothing wrong with not having children. There is everything wrong with leading someone on— even your spouse.

It doesn’t sound like you could comfortably do SMMC financially, but if you can, do that. Think long and hard before you make this man legally responsible for another human being. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics